There is a surprisingly contentious discussion that has been running in the NYT Motherlode column the past few days. If you aren’t sure where you stand on this issue, or are sure and curious to read where others stand (I guarantee you’ll be surprised whatever your personal opinion), take a look at this:
“Our credibility is the only leverage we as parents have in providing firm guidance for our kids. If we make a threat and don’t follow through, kids lose respect for us (even though they’ll say “I love you, I love you, I love you” if we do relent). Boundaries (structure, rules, limits) are one of the 8 essential needs of children:
http://www.childrenscolorado.org/wellness/resources/what-kids-really-need.aspx
We can’t provide for that basic need unless we back it up with occasional punishment when necessary. Your daughter, and her siblings, are better for what you had to do today even though you feel crummy about it and they won’t thank you – yet. But, sometimes real grounding is necessary for proper grounding.”