No, I don’t mean your hybrid, I mean the inside of your car. The passengers. Next time you’re at a stoplight, take a peek inside the minivan stopped next to you. The driver (parent) is talking on the phone; the kids (they’re the ones with the white earbuds) are listening to music, working their iPad, watching the dropdown TV screen in the backseat, or texting on their own cell phones; and the family dog is staring at you through the partially open, drool-covered back window, desperate for someone to notice him. Only the dog is unplugged and fully aware of his surroundings. Each human is entranced in a personal digital space, separated from one another not by physical distance but by bandwidth. 

Here’s a radical idea. Whenever you are en route in the car anywhere with your kids— for vacation, carpool, a dentist appointment, or to Grandma’s house—allow no cell phones, digital notebooks, Internet, MP3 players, TVs, or radios unless everyone in the car is sharing the same entertainment. That is, no personal digital, video, audio, or other electronic distractions permitted, for you or your kids, while traveling together by car. It’s okay to listen to music or the ballgame together; the key word is together. And it’s still okay to bring the dog. 

Without the isolating gadgets, you’ll have to resort to talking to one another. And teasing and laughing together. Is it okay for the kids to watch a movie together in the backseat while you’re driving? Not for my money. How many captive moments with your kids can you afford to lose? Looking back someday, wouldn’t you rather have been talking or singing or playing a word game (see my previous post about the License Plate game for car rides) ? 

Imagine the possibilities of no Facebook, Twitter, e-mail, videos, text messaging, or iPods while running errands or commuting to after-school activities. Those trips are short enough that your kids will learn to do without the electronic crutches of perpetual connectivity. Yet, when you add up all the short trips you make each week, you’ll find that you have captured hours of time with your kids that would otherwise have been lost in their private digital universes. They’ll learn to talk with you about their day and yours, and plan for tomorrow. Face-time trumps Facebook, even if it’s only a short reprieve. 

There’s also a potentially  life-saving benefit to unplugging in the car. Talking and texting on cell phones while driving causes fatal traffic accidents, second in importance only to driving under the influence. You may think that it’s okay for you to talk and drive because you are a much too careful and experienced driver to be easily distracted while driving. But even if you think of yourself as talented enough to juggle the phone, steer the wheel, put on the brakes, check the side and rearview mirrors, and monitor the traffic flow while talking or texting, is that the kind of behavior you want your kids to mimic someday when they drive? Remember, they are watching you. When you teach them that the car is an unplugged zone, unplugging will become a habit, just like putting on a seat belt, which will make them safer someday soon when they get behind the wheel themselves. 

By the time your kids get home from their unplugged travel, they will undoubtedly be going through withdrawal. Recognize that they need to reestablish their networks, and give them some unstructured time, space, and privacy to log back on.

You probably need to check your messages, too. 

Let me know how it works! Leave your suggestions for unplugged travel in the comments box below (if it’s not there, click on the title of this post and the box will magically appear below the post).

 

 

 

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