When friends of a certain age, my age, for example, get together, a novel discourse takes place. Before talking about the kids, grandkids, work or retirement, and even before talking about sports, we typically have The Organ Recital. What hurts, what’s failing, when’s surgery, who’s your doctor, why were you in the hospital…is there anything I can do to help? What’s that band-aid on your face – did you have a biopsy? Is that a limp? Are you losing weight? Have you heard about the new portable EKG device you can use with your phone? Is that an insulin pump on your belt?
Overall, though, despite all that, how are you feeling? You look pretty good!
Hearing other people’s medical problems can sometimes help you feel better about your own condition – wow, I’m lucky I only have arthritis! But there’s a risk in sharing Organ Recitals with friends. When someone shares their medical circumstances with you, it feels rude to not remember the details between get-togethers. Forgetting to ask how the knee replacement or MRI scan or colonoscopy went can be seen as uncaring or self-centered, especially when they remember to ask about your cholesterol problem. I have a friend who finally admitted to going home after our visits and writing down my health concerns so he can refer to his notes before our next get together. I suspected he was doing that because of how precise his recollection was – “Hasn’t it been almost 9 months since your last lipid panel?” Sheesh – I can’t even remember when my last lipid panel was, maybe I should have written it down.
There’s one way to protect yourself from the embarrassment of not following up on a medical concern of a friend…during your own Organ Recital to them: declare your increasing forgetfulness. That should provide cover for you.
